It's because we are afraid of on going, long lasting happiness. We like to think we want a "happy-go-lucky" thing going on, but we don't.
It does not seem to hurt so bad anymore. It's still there, though... but, if I have a talent, then it is hiding actual hurt somewhere deep, deep away? Doing that right now!
Since I have been freed against my own wishes and I have cut off all "follow me (him)" options, think I should spend this time wisely and become even a better person. And so it might just be what I am doing form now onwards.
But damn, it does tear you apart, doesn't it? When does it stop bleeding?
